


Chiarelli’s cherry #picks

by capsize (copenhagenborn)



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Chiarelli got fired, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 02:06:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17520143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/copenhagenborn/pseuds/capsize
Summary: Chiarelli got fired, but that's just the tip of the iceberg.or, texts between Taylor, Tyler and the rest of Chiarelli's all stars.





	Chiarelli’s cherry #picks

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by someone on twitter saying they wanted the transcript of texts between Tyler and Taylor in relation to the chiarelli firing, so here you go!
> 
> There was supposed to be emojis in this, but they might not show up on androids? Is that a thing?

**May 2010**

Seguin: first overall gets a handy ?

Seguin: it seems only fair

Hall: done

Hall: you don’t wanna make that a BJ instead???

Seguin: nah your lips aren’t that great bud

**June 2010**

Seguin: congrats I guess ?

Hall: 8P

Hall: come to my room when your family’s left

Hall: i think you have something of mine

Seguin: jesus just say you want the handy

Hall: don’t be bitter just because I’m better segs 

Hall: I’m sure you’ll be the next gretzky someday but in like boston

Seguin: good luck in LA jerk

**July 2010**

Seguin: first to a cup gets a blowie and like ? half the rookie bonus ?

Hall: fuck off your not getting a mil from me

Seguin: not so confident huh ?

Seguin: its alright the cup will be enough

Seguin: maybe just the blowie then ?

 

Hall: i mean you could also just ask???

Hall: but sure segs

Hall: first to a cup gets a blowie

Seguin: tight !

 

**June 15-16 2011**

Seguin: Halllsyyyy

Seguin: whres m blojob ?

Seguin: ill let u toch the cop if u com 2 bos

 

Hall: jesus kid

Hall: I don’t think you need me to come to boston eh??

Hall: I’ve seen the pics man

Hall: but congrats anyway

 

Seguin: that doesn’t count

Seguin: you owe me Hall

**2012**

Seguin: you wanna go somewhere for bye week ?

Seguin: marchy is being boring and domestic

Seguin: Bergy is you know bergy

 

Seguin: so you wanna ?

 

Hall: what an offer segs

Hall: only your third choice???

Hall: forget about a cup I already have all the honours I need

Seguin: I mean you joke but it’s true

 

Hall: where are we going???

Seguin: that’s my boy !

 

**September 2012**

Seguin: what are you thinking about the lockout ?

Hall: it’s bullshit???

Hall: how can you just cancel a season?

Hall: we have fucking contracts man

Hall: it’s not right

 

Seguin: I’m mean sure

Seguin: but like I meant

Seguin: what are you doing during ?

Hall: oh

Hall: the A

Seguin: tight

Seguin: you didn’t look at Europe ?

Hall: shit no

Hall: I can barely speak English

Hall: you want me to try Swedish??

Hall: or fucking Russian??

Seguin: they speak English over there ?

Hall: some of them probs

Hall: have you never played with a bunch of Q guys??

Hall: now they’re not just doing it to fuck with you

Hall: but because English isn’t actually an official language there so they don’t have to speak it

 

Seguin: fuck

**July 2013**

Hall: hey man

Hall: I know the trade sucks

Hall: but you didn’t have to run out??

Seguin: sorry man

Seguin: my agent was calling

 

Hall: oh

Hall: alright

Hall: please call me back tho

 

**2014**

Seguin: so anal huh?

 

Hall: are you offering???

 

Seguin: i mean am i getting a gucci purse out of it or nah ?

Hall: oh fuck OFF

Hall: its not even true

 

Seguin: sure man

Seguin: i guess the eberle thing didn’t work out then ?

Hall: he’s got a girl and doesn’t do the bro thing

Seguin: oh for real?

Seguin: that’s tough man

Seguin: not that the bruins were lol

Seguin: Bennie tho !

Seguin: nah they’re all locked up here in the south

Seguin: you should come by

Seguin: bring a purse or two

Hall: yeah???

Hall: tight man

Seguin: it sure is

 

Hall: fuck off

Hall: or I’ll bring you oilers merch instead

Seguin: better stock up before your relocated eh ?

Seguin: now that your running a bit low on first overall picks

Seguin: I’m hearing good things about Quebec

Hall: choke

 

**June 2015**

Seguin: McJesus huh ?

Seguin: can we expect a cup in the coming year then ?

Seguin: or are you still wasting first overall picks ? #FailForNail

Hall: hows bennie’s playoff stats???

Hall: still living that first round life???

Hall: must feel fucking great!!

Seguin: you would know eh

 

Seguin: bring the kid to bio steel tho

 

**July 2015**

Hall: not a lot of bunching going on in Dallas???

Hall: I thought it was mox central down there

 

Seguin: statements made by the captain does not cover the opinions of the rest of the team

Seguin: all commentary should be directed to Jameson Benn or his social media guy Jason Demers  

Seguin: mostly the latter

Seguin: please

 

Hall: he’s still with his girl tho??

Seguin: ye

Hall: fucking ace man!!

 

**June 2016**

Seguin: I guess we finally figured it out huh ?

Seguin: Larsson should have gone first overall #2010draftRedo  

 

**June 2018**

Seguin: congrats on the (Sparkling Heart ) man

Seguin: you had a good year

Hall: thanks bud

Hall: blowies when I come to TO?

Seguin: you coming to biosteel this year ?

Seguin: I’ll pick you first (Eyes )

 

Hall: nah man playoffs took a lot out of me

Hall: think I’m just gonna call it a season

Seguin: yeah I guess it’s kinda hard to get used to the longer season

Seguin: you know with it being your first time and all

 

Hall: dick

Seguin: (Winking Face )

**December 2018**

Seguin: so you know I don’t mean to pry but

Hall: sike

Seguin: I mean yes but also

Seguin: do you still have eyes on your boy ?

Hall: gotta be a bit clearer there

Hall: got a lot of them by now

Hall: don’t be jealous segs

Seguin: nah but like

Seguin: your og boy? Davo

 

Seguin: so you didn’t see then

Seguin: manning got traded to edm

Seguin: thought you might want to know

. . .

Hall: what the fuck con

Hall: what is brandon fuckign manning doing on your team???

Hall: for drake of all people!!!

Hall: connor dammit

McDavid: what was I supposed to do?

McDavid: no? please don’t trade for defence I like being on a bad team, it really brings out my point production?

Hall: fuck off connor

Hall: he was a -14 on the hawks

Hall: he’s not a fucking upgrade on D

Hall: not when chia could have gotten literally anyone else!!!

 

McDavid: it’s really not your concern anymore, is it?

Hall: I mean fuck me for caring about you huh???

 

Hall: that’s how it is now??

Hall: fine

 

Hall: good luck on Hughes then

Hall: at least now you won’t break another collarbone

McDavid: fuck you, Hall

 

**December 2018 to January 2019 – the og kidline**

Eberle: how’s Davo, Nuge?

NH: ...

NH: he’s not really talking a lot outside of the room

NH: he’s trying to keep positive, doesn’t want anyone to see him frustrated

NH: but Drai told me he had a break down at his place

NH: and not just a freak out, like legit breaking down

_Eberle is typing_

 

Eberle: is he still seeing his psychologist?

Eberle: I know he had to find a new one, but he’s still going right?

NH: ish?

NH: he’s trying to but there’s not a lot of time

NH: he’s having meetings with chia and upper management

NH: trying to placate him so he doesn’t rebel

NH: jokes on them, davo would never but

Eberle: are you serious? That’s not good

NH: he’s also starting to distance himself because he’s expecting another trade to happen soon

NH: the room is so tense

NH: we keep trying to talk about it but he gets defensive

NH: like, if you don’t want to be here then get out

NH: like we fucking have a choice

 

Hall: don’t worry nuge

Hall: youre probably the next to leave

Eberle: Taylor, shut up!

Hall: what

Hall: don’t pretend I’m wrong

Hall: why should he keep Ryan around when he traded everyone else?

_Hall is typing_

_Ryan left the chat_

Eberle: grow the fuck up Taylor

Eberle: get back to us when you’re not being ridiculous

_Eberle left the chat_

 

**January 2019 – Chiarelli’s (Cherries ) #picks**

Seguin: sooooo  Spooner’s on waivers eh ?

Barzal: I don’t even go here but that’s sick man!

Strome: shit really?

Strome: I gotta text Connor  

Barzal: you think Lou’s gonna get something for cheap?

Barzal: clear up some of that cap space?

Barzal: you know, like 8.5 mil?

Eberle: Barz, please

 

Seguin: you know maybe chia was right

Seguin: Hallsy got the Hart and whatever

Seguin: but I’m still the only one with a cup

Seguin: maybe all of you are too soft for playoffs

Schultz: (Eyes )

Seguin: fuck off Jeff

Seguin: you don’t count

Schultz: (Penguin )(Penguin )

_Schultz changed the group name to “Phil Kessel is a two time Stanley cup champion”_

 

_Barzal changed the group name to “”we’re not going to out-skill teams” – Connor McDavid, out-skilling the rest of the league”_

Eberle: is it now we start to worry?

Barzal: (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands)we (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands) stan (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands) a (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands) hardworking (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands) grinding (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands)team (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands) tight (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands) checking (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands) team (Clapping Hands Sign ≊ Clapping Hands)

Barzal: nothing but respect for MY first overall picked grinder!

Barzal: (Face With Look Of Triumph )(Hundred Points Symbol ≊ Hundred Points)(Flexed Biceps )(Ice Hockey Stick And Puck )

Hall: do you ever shut up??

Eberle: be nice, please!

Barzal: I mean when it’s needed 

Seguin: (Eyes ) (Eyes )

Barzal: (Winking Face )

 

Barzal: Chiarelli got yeeted

Barzal: davo’s popping bottles yo! (Bottle With Popping Cork )(Bottle With Popping Cork )(Bottle With Popping Cork )

_Wheeler left the chat_

Yakupov: )))))

Barzal: what about Jesse tho?

Barzal: don’t leave us hanging edm!!

Barzal: we need the sequel!!!

**Author's Note:**

> and then everyone leaves the chat, so Mat adds Mitchell Stephens who actually gets his jokes.


End file.
